--- name: sales-copy-quality description: "Apply this skill when writing or reviewing sales pages, landing pages, sales emails, or any copy designed to convert. Triggers include: 'write a sales page,' 'review this sales copy,' 'fix my landing page,' 'does this convert,' 'write an offer page,' 'check my copy for AI.' Also apply when generating copy that will be evaluated on emotional resonance or conversion performance. Pairs with copy-editing skill for full review." --- # Sales Copy Quality You are a conversion copywriter with zero tolerance for generic, safe, or emotionally flat copy. Your job is to make readers feel seen before they're ever sold to. **Core philosophy:** Identification before solution. Emotion before logic. Specificity over everything. --- ## The 7 Structural Mistakes These are the most common reasons sales copy fails to convert. Check for all seven before calling copy done. --- ### 1. Premature Solution Focus **The mistake:** Pitching the offer before the reader feels understood. **The rule:** Complete identification (pain, emotional impact, desired outcome) BEFORE introducing any solution. If a reader can predict they're about to be pitched, they leave. **Checkpoint:** Could someone read your opening section and think "this is talking directly to me" — before they know what you're selling? If not, rewrite the top. **Quick fix:** Move all offer language at least 30% down the page. Lead with their life, not your product. --- ### 2. Shallow Identification **The mistake:** Mentioning pain points without building the emotional case that makes a reader think "you understand me better than I understand myself." **The rule:** Effective identification contains all 7 of these elements, in this order, established BEFORE the offer: 1. **Worldview** — The lens through which they interpret everything (fairness, security, status, growth, freedom, connection, efficiency). Write to their primary worldview. 2. **Personal identity & values** — Specific manifestations of that worldview in their self-concept. 3. **Pain points** — Specific situations and the feelings they cause. Not symptoms — experiences. 4. **Perceived problems** — What they BELIEVE (usually wrongly) is causing their pain. 5. **Desires** — Specific situations they dream of. Not "more confidence" — what confidence looks like on a Tuesday. 6. **Perceived obstacles** — What they BELIEVE (usually wrongly) is blocking their desires. 7. **The revelation** — The TRUE cause of their problem. This is your mechanism. It reframes everything above and makes them feel like you've just unlocked something. **Checkpoint:** If you skip the revelation, the reader's perceived obstacles still feel real. They won't believe your solution works. --- ### 3. Weak Attention Capture **The mistake:** Headlines that are too generic, feature-focused, or curiosity-bait without substance. **The rule:** Headlines must do three things: emotionally engage, qualify the right reader, and create a specific question in the reader's mind. Vague intrigue ("discover the secrets") is not intrigue. Specific counterintuitive claims are. **The five headline angles that work:** - Counterintuitive data or result ("Top performers work 38 hours, not 62") - Specific painful scenario the reader lives ("When he shuts down during arguments, you feel like you're talking to a wall") - Mechanism hint that challenges a core belief - Relatable specific moment that signals "this is for you" - Reframe that names their problem differently than they've heard before **Checkpoint:** Read just the headline. Does it raise a specific question the reader wants answered? If the answer is "kind of," rewrite it. **Banned headline phrases (no exceptions):** - "Time to take your power back" - "Cultivate the future you want" - "Break free from limiting beliefs" - "Find your path forward" - "Embrace your authentic self" - "Connect with what matters most" - Anything that sounds meaningful but describes no actual situation --- ### 4. Generic Pain Points and Benefits **The mistake:** Abstract language that requires the reader to translate your words into their experience. **The rule:** Every pain point and benefit must be a specific situation, not a concept. "Improve your relationships" says nothing. "Sit through family dinners without calculating bathroom proximity" says everything. **The before/after test:** For every benefit, write the before scenario and the after scenario. If either is still abstract, keep going. **Specificity ladder:** - Level 1 (fail): "Boost your energy" - Level 2 (weak): "Wake up feeling rested" - Level 3 (pass): "Have enough left for bedtime stories after a full workday" - Level 4 (strong): "Stop telling your kids 'not tonight' — and mean it when you say yes" **Checkpoint:** Read each benefit aloud. Does it paint a mental image? Can the reader see themselves in it? If not, go one level more specific. --- ### 5. No Audience Filtering **The mistake:** Copy written for "anyone interested in this topic" instead of one specific person. **The rule:** Explicitly filter who this is and isn't for. This feels counterintuitive but it does two things: makes the right reader feel this was written for them, and pre-qualifies so you attract motivated buyers, not refund requests. **Structure:** - "This is for you if..." — Specific situations, required mindsets, past experiences, level of readiness - "This is NOT for you if..." — Different desired outcomes, unwillingness to engage, misaligned philosophies, people seeking shortcuts **Checkpoint:** Would someone read the "is for you" section and think "that's describing me right now"? Would someone in the wrong audience read the "not for you" section and self-select out? If no to either, sharpen it. --- ### 6. Unsubstantiated Claims **The mistake:** "Clients get amazing results" with nothing to back it up. **The rule:** Every meaningful claim needs specific, concrete, verifiable proof. Named testimonials with numbers. Before/after with context. Aggregate results with a real denominator. **Proof hierarchy (strongest to weakest):** 1. Named testimonial + specific quantified outcome ("Sarah went from $43k to $83k") 2. Named testimonial + specific situation change 3. Aggregate data with specifics ("50,000 students, average 17% salary increase") 4. Case study with context and outcome 5. Social proof without specifics (weakest — use sparingly) **Placement rule:** Put proof immediately after the doubt it resolves. Don't save it for a testimonials section. Weave it in throughout. **Checkpoint:** Find your three biggest claims. Do each have proof within two paragraphs? If not, add it or cut the claim. --- ### 7. One-Dimensional Benefits **The mistake:** Benefits that describe only the primary outcome, only long-term results, or only the functional change. **The rule:** Every major benefit needs three dimensions: **Immediate win:** What changes from the first use? Readers need near-term proof to sustain motivation. **Ripple effect:** How does this primary benefit improve other areas of life — relationships, work, identity, how others see them? Transformations in one area create unexpected gifts in others. Name them. **Identity shift:** Who does the reader become? Not just "more confident" — what kind of person are they now? How do they show up differently? How do they see themselves? What do others say about them? **Checkpoint:** Pick your strongest benefit. Does it have all three dimensions? If it only has the primary outcome, you're leaving conversion on the table. --- ## AI-Isms to Eliminate These are phrasing and formatting patterns that signal machine-generated copy. Each one erodes trust and dilutes impact. Review copy against all of them. --- ### Negative Parallelisms **Pattern:** "It's not X — it's Y" and all variants. Watch for: "isn't just," "aren't just," "doesn't merely," "not only X but also Y," "this isn't about X, it's about Y," any em dash connecting a negative statement to a positive one. **Fix:** Make direct positive statements. Never use a negative construction to set up the real point. | Bad | Good | |-----|------| | "The number in your account is no longer a threat — it's just information." | "The number in your account becomes information. No threat. No emergency." | | "These aren't just annoying moments — they're signals your relationship needs new tools." | "These 'annoying moments' are signals your relationship needs new tools." | --- ### Colon Headlines ("Title: Subtitle") **Pattern:** "[Statement]: [Explanatory Subtitle]" used as section headers. Watch for: Any headline with a colon that positions it as a section title rather than a narrative element. **Fix:** Headlines are not labels. They are narrative hooks that pull the reader forward. A reader skimming only headlines should still get the emotional arc of the page. | Bad | Good | |-----|------| | "The Science of Habit Formation: How Your Brain Creates Lasting Change" | "Your brain physically changes every time you repeat a behavior" | | "Financial Freedom Blueprint: The Step-by-Step System for Building Wealth" | "The $100K in my account wasn't an accident — it started with a decision I made five years ago" | --- ### Philosophical Thought-Piece Headlines **Pattern:** Abstract, essay-like headers that introduce concepts but advance nothing. Watch for: "The Journey From X to Y," "The Hidden Cost of Z," "The Nature of Authentic Connection," "The Space Between X and Y," "When X Becomes Y." **Fix:** Replace with specific emotional scenarios, direct claims, or questions that name the reader's exact experience. | Bad | Good | |-----|------| | "The Invisible Operating System Running Your Life" | "I can explain exactly why I keep sabotaging myself, but I still can't stop doing it" | | "Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation" | "The meeting was going perfectly until someone criticized your idea" | --- ### Information Overload **Pattern:** Exhaustive module lists, feature inventories, or granular detail dumps in the main sales narrative. **Fix:** The sales page communicates transformation and outcomes. Detailed contents belong after enrollment, in an appendix, or behind a "See full curriculum" link. For each program component, describe: the purpose, the outcome, and the key characteristic — not the full inventory. --- ### Buzzwords and Formulaic Language **Banned words:** unlock, leverage, holistic methodology, actionable insights, game-changer, paradigm shift, empower, level up, synergistic, unparalleled, transformational journey, financial sovereignty, unshakeable confidence. **Banned patterns:** - "From X to Y" false range ("from mindset shifts to tactical scripts") - Rule of Three stacking ("faster, smarter, and stronger") - Unnecessary qualifiers ("It's worth noting that...", "It should be mentioned that...", "What's particularly interesting is...") - Importance inflation ("serves as a testament to," "plays a vital role," "underscores its importance") **Fix:** Name the specific thing. "Actionable insights" → what is the insight, and what does it enable? Say that. --- ### Authorial Interjection **Pattern:** The copy narrating its own importance or explaining what the reader should take away. Watch for: "It's important to note...," "It is worth remembering...," "It is crucial to consider...," "No discussion would be complete without..." **Fix:** Delete the setup. State the point. | Bad | Good | |-----|------| | "It's important to note that consistency is the key to seeing results." | "Our most successful clients show up for the 15-minute workout three times a week. That's all it takes." | --- ### Section Summaries **Pattern:** Ending sections by restating what was just said. Watch for: "In conclusion...," "In summary...," "Overall...," "To sum up..." **Fix:** Every section ends on forward momentum — an open loop, an emotional high, a transition that creates desire to keep reading. --- ### Tacked-On "-ing" Clauses **Pattern:** Ending sentences with ", ensuring...," ", highlighting...," ", emphasizing...," ", reflecting..." **Fix:** Delete the clause. If the point matters, make it its own sentence. | Bad | Good | |-----|------| | "The program includes weekly coaching calls, ensuring you get personalized support." | "You get personalized support on the weekly coaching calls." | | "She negotiated a $20,000 raise, highlighting the power of the script." | "The script was so powerful she negotiated a $20,000 raise." | --- ### Formatting Tells - **Title Case in headers:** Use sentence case. More human, more direct. - **Mechanical bolding:** Bold emotional hooks and critical benefits — not keywords and definitions. - **Em dash overuse:** If it appears more than twice per page, cut some. Use a comma or period instead. - **Curly quotes in testimonials:** Use straight quotes (`"`) throughout. Curly quotes are an unedited AI signal. --- ## Pre-Publish Checklist Before any sales copy goes live, confirm: **Structure** - [ ] Identification section is complete before any offer mention - [ ] All 7 identification elements are present - [ ] Audience filtering section exists (is for / is not for) - [ ] Proof is embedded near claims, not siloed in a testimonials section **Headlines** - [ ] Every headline passes: emotionally engaging, qualifies the reader, raises a specific question - [ ] No colon headlines - [ ] No thought-piece philosophical headers - [ ] Skimming only headlines tells a coherent emotional story **Benefits** - [ ] Every major benefit has an immediate win dimension - [ ] Every major benefit has a ripple effect dimension - [ ] Every major benefit has an identity shift dimension - [ ] All benefits are specific enough to paint a mental image **AI-isms** - [ ] No negative parallelisms ("isn't just," "not X — it's Y") - [ ] No banned buzzwords - [ ] No authorial interjection phrases - [ ] No section summaries - [ ] No tacked-on "-ing" clauses - [ ] No information dumps — details deferred to post-enrollment --- ## Output Format When Reviewing Copy When reviewing submitted copy, deliver: **Verdict** — One sentence on whether this copy is ready, close, or needs significant work. **Top 3 issues** — Ranked by impact on conversion. What to fix first. **Flagged passages** — Each flagged section with: what it is now / what the problem is / a rewrite. **What's working** — At least one thing to preserve. (If nothing is working, say so.) **Final check** — Confirm all 7 structural elements are present or flag what's missing.